Need for a German driver's license sets off a flurry....
Aah, California, wonderful beautiful California. Ocean waves, fields of brown, mountains...and no agreement with Germany concerning driver's licenses. It is the only State that does not have an agreement. Instead of being able to automatically receive a license here, I have to take both the theory test and the driving test. This blog will be rather long so I can remember the events in their full absurdity.
I called a driving school this morning to begin the process. An American friend of mine lives above such a school and I asked him to put in a good word for me. What I hoped was that I could buy the guy six beers or so and he would stamp everything APPROVED as we toasted to international understanding and the right to drive.
But no. Upon speaking with him, we discussed my taking the theory exam in English and his ordering the book and the sample test for me. He then called the city's drivers license bureau which told him of a new law in place since October 1. This law says that you can no longer easily take the theory test in your native language. No more. Can't be done. Now, you have to fill out a special form and also write a brief essay why you should be excused from taking the test in English, in my case. This essay will be evaluated according to what particulars I don't have the slightest idea. Some bureaucrat somewhere will deem whether I can take the test in English or the dreaded alternative, in German.
Can you imagine? Taking a theory test in German? Even if it just concerned driving regulations, think of the arcane abstract language that describes the laws, the language of Kant, Hegel and Nietzsche, some say the philosophical language par excellence! Think of what it would be like to take a theory test in German and think of all the thousands of foreigners now living here who face this predicament.
Upon his advice, I went to the bureau myself. There, the clerk, a matronly 50 year old with light brown highlights in her hair immediately recognized me as the problem just spoken of with the driving school owner. She immediately launched into a flurry of activity, giving me forms, attempting to explain all the documents I had to assemble before going to the city office which reviews and stamps everything and then sends it on to her. She raised her voice several times due to the very misguided understanding that the louder she spoke the easier it would be for me to understand. Little did she realize that the higher the decibel simply increases one's exasperation which is already at the boiling point due to the absurdity of having driving abilities tested after having driven for more than 25 years! I had to fill out the main form, fill out a 2nd form (Erklaerung) although what this explains is beyond me, fill out the dreaded form that will plead to take the test in English, get an eye test, pay 37 Euros and 50 cents, take a first aid test, have my driver's license translated by an accredited translator, then bring it all to the city bureau which then returns it to her. And at some time afterwards the decision will come: English or no English, whereupon the book and test sample can be ordered!
I left thinking how absolutely crazy that Cali has no agreement and went to the travel bureau where ADAC has its office. ADAC is the german equivalent of AAA, a friend when you need one says their advertisement on TV. There, a clerk immediately set forth to fill the documents required and made a copy of my license. Puzzled as to whether CA was a member of the EU she asked a colleague whether I would pay 36 Euros or 46 Euros. The colleague came over and explained that California was a non-EU state, therefore, 46. Even though we in California think of ourselves as so different, and may consider ourselves more European than New Yorkers who everyone says are so European in attitude and lifestyle and NYC is the most European of all American cities, even if our economy fluctuates each year with France for being the 6th or the 7th largest in the world, we are still not European enough to have entered the EU! Incredible! I paid 46 Euros and she said that I would have to wait two weeks. I showed her the copy and said there was hardly anything to translate, in fact there is nothing to translate basically, sex, height, eye color, hair color, weight, address and date of birth. What is there to translate? She explained that they have to send everything to the Munich office and perhaps it will take only one week not two and that she will call me when they've received it.
Coming home I then called an optometrist. They said the test takes perhaps 3 minutes and you don't need an appointment. It is done on a walk-in basis. Whew! What a rigorous examination of my seeing abilities awaits! I next called to register for the first aid. No one was at the Red Cross. I looked at the time and it was 12:15 the lunch hour when everything shuts down! I called the second place, Maltheser, which I've always thought of as a brewer of malt beer, perhaps they do these first aid tests on the side and got someone who after consulting with a colleague said I did not need to register but could go there any Saturday morning at 9am, pay 24 Euros in cash and sit through the presentation to receive the proof.
I called a driving school this morning to begin the process. An American friend of mine lives above such a school and I asked him to put in a good word for me. What I hoped was that I could buy the guy six beers or so and he would stamp everything APPROVED as we toasted to international understanding and the right to drive.
But no. Upon speaking with him, we discussed my taking the theory exam in English and his ordering the book and the sample test for me. He then called the city's drivers license bureau which told him of a new law in place since October 1. This law says that you can no longer easily take the theory test in your native language. No more. Can't be done. Now, you have to fill out a special form and also write a brief essay why you should be excused from taking the test in English, in my case. This essay will be evaluated according to what particulars I don't have the slightest idea. Some bureaucrat somewhere will deem whether I can take the test in English or the dreaded alternative, in German.
Can you imagine? Taking a theory test in German? Even if it just concerned driving regulations, think of the arcane abstract language that describes the laws, the language of Kant, Hegel and Nietzsche, some say the philosophical language par excellence! Think of what it would be like to take a theory test in German and think of all the thousands of foreigners now living here who face this predicament.
Upon his advice, I went to the bureau myself. There, the clerk, a matronly 50 year old with light brown highlights in her hair immediately recognized me as the problem just spoken of with the driving school owner. She immediately launched into a flurry of activity, giving me forms, attempting to explain all the documents I had to assemble before going to the city office which reviews and stamps everything and then sends it on to her. She raised her voice several times due to the very misguided understanding that the louder she spoke the easier it would be for me to understand. Little did she realize that the higher the decibel simply increases one's exasperation which is already at the boiling point due to the absurdity of having driving abilities tested after having driven for more than 25 years! I had to fill out the main form, fill out a 2nd form (Erklaerung) although what this explains is beyond me, fill out the dreaded form that will plead to take the test in English, get an eye test, pay 37 Euros and 50 cents, take a first aid test, have my driver's license translated by an accredited translator, then bring it all to the city bureau which then returns it to her. And at some time afterwards the decision will come: English or no English, whereupon the book and test sample can be ordered!
I left thinking how absolutely crazy that Cali has no agreement and went to the travel bureau where ADAC has its office. ADAC is the german equivalent of AAA, a friend when you need one says their advertisement on TV. There, a clerk immediately set forth to fill the documents required and made a copy of my license. Puzzled as to whether CA was a member of the EU she asked a colleague whether I would pay 36 Euros or 46 Euros. The colleague came over and explained that California was a non-EU state, therefore, 46. Even though we in California think of ourselves as so different, and may consider ourselves more European than New Yorkers who everyone says are so European in attitude and lifestyle and NYC is the most European of all American cities, even if our economy fluctuates each year with France for being the 6th or the 7th largest in the world, we are still not European enough to have entered the EU! Incredible! I paid 46 Euros and she said that I would have to wait two weeks. I showed her the copy and said there was hardly anything to translate, in fact there is nothing to translate basically, sex, height, eye color, hair color, weight, address and date of birth. What is there to translate? She explained that they have to send everything to the Munich office and perhaps it will take only one week not two and that she will call me when they've received it.
Coming home I then called an optometrist. They said the test takes perhaps 3 minutes and you don't need an appointment. It is done on a walk-in basis. Whew! What a rigorous examination of my seeing abilities awaits! I next called to register for the first aid. No one was at the Red Cross. I looked at the time and it was 12:15 the lunch hour when everything shuts down! I called the second place, Maltheser, which I've always thought of as a brewer of malt beer, perhaps they do these first aid tests on the side and got someone who after consulting with a colleague said I did not need to register but could go there any Saturday morning at 9am, pay 24 Euros in cash and sit through the presentation to receive the proof.
posted by paulmediaeye at 3:22 AM
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